| windsor sucks |
[16 Nov 2004|06:53pm] |
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hey.........me, geo and a few other sb kids are commin up either wednsday night or (more likely) thursday morning the week of thanksgiving. we're gonna have a bbq/drunken adventure party at my house on saturday around noon and wanna kick it all weekend so make time everyone. this is jeff roach the asperfrog signing off from the pinot.
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| Robby. A poem |
[25 Oct 2004|06:46pm] |
Robby. A poem.
My little remote rosy,
In my arms so eternally cozy
I am that sickly enamored boy,
Pulling my cock out as I stammered “Enjoy”
I must imbibe your laughter soon
Dreaming your sweet face and that silly booty chase,
that commences each drunken afternoon
A fifth of SoCo down
With your melon spinning ‘round and ‘round
I tell you you’re my baby
And you give me another to pound.
Minute after minute, hour after hour
Fist up in the air belting out "Fight the Power"
Holla atcha boy.
As two original G’s we run silent blocks,
But we aim to please through non-violent talks
Back in the day, we useta smoke hella rocks
Tradin’ pleasure for crack luck,
suckin’ all kinds a’ cocks.
Our ice is ostentatious,
While you’re just lost and ungracious.
We burn one for Butch and E,
Then lay back to count our money
Cristo aint got shit on us Robby,
We bust prison like we bust skulls
And then we thrash the lobby.
A fifth of SoCo down
With your melon spinning ‘round and ‘round
I tell you you’re my baby
And you give me another to pound.
Minute after minute, hour after hour
Fist up in the air, belting out "Fight the Power"
Holla atcha boy.
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| eh, |
[12 Aug 2004|07:08pm] |
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| hahahahahah |
[15 Jul 2004|05:20pm] |
Dear Jeffrey,
We understand that you are turning twenty-one next week. Let me begin by wishing you a happy birthday. I know that many people mark the occasion of their twenty-first birthday with alcohol. At UCSB, statistics indicate that about eighty percent of students drink alcohol. If you choose to do so, I am concerned that you take care of yourself as you celebrate, and I urge you to keep a few things in mind. If you don't use alcohol, or choose not to on your twenty-first birthday, I hope you will consider sharing this information with a friend:
· Include a meal or food as part of your celebration.
· Always know what you are drinking.
· Pace yourself: limit your alcohol intake (one drink per hour) and/or alternate alcohol-free drinks throughout the night.
· Have a friend let you know when you've had enough.
· Avoid drinking games.
· Make arrangements for getting home safely before you go out: choose a designated driver or call a taxi if you are celebrating in Santa Barbara.
All of us in the Division of Student Affairs want you to have a great time but also live to see another day. Having a great birthday includes keeping yourself safe from harm; so, please be careful. If you have any further questions about your own alcohol use or that of a friend, contact Student Health at 893-8721.
We are interested in your comments, feedback, and correspondence; so, please send them to studentlife@sa.ucsb.edu
Sincerely,
Michael Young
Vice Chancellor of Student Affairs
University of California, Santa Barbara
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[23 Jun 2004|12:14am] |
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Just wanted to show off my new Frankie icon.
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| memories of the battleship |
[18 Apr 2004|01:09pm] |
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mentos used to come in a roll, the dollar used to represent the gold, i used to not be so fat, i used to not be so tired and unmotivated, i used to hate helping j-lo dress in the moring, the IFOCE used to be a tiny dream in meatloaf's head.... there used to be friends and life and dance happy happiness...but someone farted and ruined everything...and that was probably frankie. goodnight everyone, and remember..if it smells bad, don't rub it on your face.
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[10 Apr 2004|05:05pm] |
-Pantera-
-Good Friends And A Bottle Of Pills-
I fucked your girlfriend last night.
While you snored and drooled, I fucked your love.
She called me Daddy. And I called her baby when I
Smacked her ass. I called her sugar when I ate
Her alive till daylight. And I slept with her all
Over me, from forehead to ribcage I dripped her ass.
Sometimes I thought you might be spying, living out some
Brash fantasy, but no. You were knocked out. But we were
All knocked out you know. In a way
I serve too many masters.
We didn't know you'd break the bottle that the magic
Came in to use those jagged shards to slit our wrists
And neck. And you'd do it too, you're that kind of dude.
But you wouldn't know what you were doing because
I didn't, your girlfriend could have been a burn
Victim, an amputee, a dead body. But god damn I wanted
To fuck.
I'm serving too many fucking masters.
[I told you. I told you motherfucker]
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[04 Apr 2004|01:24am] |
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and im thankful for all of your support
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[04 Apr 2004|01:21am] |
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I just wanted to let everyone know, that i have lowered my cholesterol
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[04 Apr 2004|01:10am] |
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MY...username is whipplevsnasty...my password is fuckie123 ...sign on...and write something pleeeeaaaaasseeeee...it'll make everything a lil more ...you know...not me...e-publish your stories...pretend you're me and say something lame like i would...
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| New York (First Real Journal Entry w/o Nonsensical Garbage) |
[28 Mar 2004|11:51am] |
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Geo and stayed in a modest little two bedroom apartment in Harlem across the street from Crack Smoking Squatters Square, a tasteful, decandent subdivsion of the area made up entirely of abandon buidlings remodeled by illegal tenants in the latest insane, drug addicted styles. It only took us a few nights to get used to the gun shots...because we pretty much came home fucked up from the bars every morning around 3. We hit up a swanky hooka bar, a choice little jazz club at which aparently i hella pissed off sanam but i was too drunk to remember (after drinking whiskey out of a mcdonalds cup while walking around time square), a couple indie/hard rock clubs, a bizzare little joint called something like Circ Tebac that had something like a million different cigarettes to order...including ..."black death"...and then there was this karaoke bar run by drag queens (one constantly demanding that we "give a black bitch a dollar")..geo did a song and the rest of us chickened out......oh but we did a lot more than just spend all our money on drinks (no exageration, we spent literaly hundreds, drinks are 8 bucks a pop)...we did the museums and shopped and whatnot..empire state building and checked out ground zero...pretty much walked everywhere... and rode the subway everywhere... we saw a guy smoking crack in one of the stations..and we saw another guy smokin a j and drinkin out of a bag in the train...and barely stumbled out of the train... geo bought a couple designer purses (one fake and one maybe stolen) from illegal, quick-to-bargin, on-the-move street vendors....and we did a bunch of other neato bannana things too..but the flies in my house are driving me crazy and i cant sit here anymore.
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[16 Mar 2004|11:17pm] |
Some tit has my phone. He might have called you lookin for a blow job. I'll be canceling that shit tommarow...but let me appologize ahead of time...
meanwhile, call him up (707)318-8533 and tear him a new one
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[12 Mar 2004|02:05pm] |
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Geo barfed on everything this morning, i barfed on myself while peeing last night, i have a couple long hairs around my nipple, eben's dad poked him in the eye while he was sleeping, the TI 89 is still hell of cool and still legal on the SATs, magic is lame but super glue is an exception as it is magic and not lame, we're all still confined by time and space, im getting fatter and fatter acording to the grab the flab test, i just killed a fruit fly, E.T. still sucks my cock everynight, there's a big whole in my wall and i think i made it but there's cardboard in there and so i think it was a soft spot that had been broken before... but by whom ...and when i wonder, im consumed by shame because i actually traded money for pongs and still have them and they're still worthless, i was just kidding before about the wall...i don't care about the last time it was broken, nothings iller than the iliad, techno was aparently started in the 50s by some dude named Varse but he sucks and Paul Lanksy doesn't suck and radiohead even knows that, one clock says it's 1:52 and another says 1:49, geo is still passed out, im hungry and sad and stupid, i just took a shit...and that's the state of things.
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[03 Mar 2004|08:46pm] |
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No, my mama didn't send me a package, i was raised by wolves bitch.
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| Cock Mobster --MC Paul Barman |
[22 Feb 2004|12:37pm] |
'Hey baby, do you know who I am?'
[Paul]
Cock Mobster
It's a porn utopia
A cornucopia of warm fallopia
Cock Mobster
My dandy voice makes the most
Anti-choice granny's panties moist
I let my hair air dry thereby getting more hair pie
I want to fire blanks in Tyra Banks
I like shorn quim lasses in horn-rimmed glasses
but Cindy Crawford ...offered
I would keep a tidy room for Heidi Klum
I'm immersed in Kirstie Alley's thirsty valley
I would snore or sleep on Laura Prepon.
Shall I keep on? (Yeah!)
I'd feel the pubis of Mila Kunis
I've seen the trim of Tina M.
I'd crunch Thandie Newton like a candied crouton
And I'll disrobe Lisa Loeb
I want a smelly slice of Kelly Price
Plus get with the hairy scar of Teri Garr
Lisa Bonet: I'd like a piece of your day
I would jizz early inside Liz Hurley
I'm a braniac with a veiny sack
resting on the brow of Erika Eleniak (Ooh, wow)
She almost shrank off when I said, 'Take your top tank off.'
I draw a thousand times better than Robert Mankoff
I'm very p-proprietary with M-M-Mariah Carey
But she wants some silly cut up with Billy Crudup's butt up
I'm the most lonely fella without Toni Isabella
I'm truly the hero of Julie Shapiro
But I'm sure to spill sperm in Laura Silverman
I'm putting taxing long things in Maxine Hong Kingston
which brings in Amy Tan
She said, 'Lay me, mon.'
Cynthia Ozick takes off her clothes quick and likes exposed brick
I stuck my slim sword in Kim Gordon
Laetitia Casta is easily the boss of ya
Sigourney Weaver has a thrashing horny beaver
I'm having intercourse while listening to Winter Wars
Winona Ryder? Going inside her!
I want to get on the whole width of Anna Nicole Smith
I want Tracy Bingham in a lacey thingum
I made Tahnee Welch punanni felch while her mommy belched
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| pull the pin for me cause my hand is broken |
[19 Feb 2004|11:07pm] |
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Grandma collapsed beside her big bag of phoney jewels. They made her happier than her fuckup son ever could have, so it kind of makes me smile to think of her there on the ground with her mug in the rug, wrists broken under her side, glassess shattered into her face. I suppose this suited her better than the suicide parlor. Natural causes... the most modest of departures right? Out of your hands kind of super dirt way out right? Thats how i like to think of it at least. So here it was, as it always was at this hour. A little tradgic, a little humorous, the slow ambulance. Too late driver. Close the curtain on grandma's exit and cue the radio not the siren. The bitch was hella fat, it's her fault.
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| fantasy high school party |
[06 Feb 2004|02:32pm] |
I didn't even notice when robby came stumbling in. I was consentrating on mike's wicked DSLs and the tent he was pitching in his pants. It was when he dropped to his knees that robby's shiny white chest caught my attention. He seemed just a little frightened, but a whole lot of turned on, so i motioned for him to come over. I asked why he was shirtless and he mumbled something about having lost his mesh cut off top it in a game of strip poker with sister or something. We started at swallowing tongues and soon i was unzipping robbys pants, to reveal a nice hairless peter. Just as i was about to move mikes dome over to robby for some pokin' i caught a glimpse of two pairs of eyes outside by the window. It was justin and stevie, that little kid who fell asleep while taking a shit that one time. I realized now that we were drawing quite a bit of attention to ourselves with the loud slurping noises and robby constantly moaning and taking time out to barf. So i invited shane and stevie in on the condition that they would not tell anyone else and would turn on some music. Stevie put on some bizarre world music compilation that his dad bought him for his birthday. "This stuff is so orgasmic" stevie said trembling, "i listen to it all the time when im naked with my stuffed dear dancer". Justin smiled. This highly personal statement would cause robby to barf again and loose his erection. He passed out on the floor, and mike's face was once again mine. I invited justin over and made stevie sit in the corner. Meanwhile i called up michael serva to talk about the rash he gave me. Mike continued to bob. This peaceful moment was interrupted when the loud thumping drums of stevies shitty ass world music, brought mark and christian seubert dancing into the room. "I love this music don't you suebert" mark said " and you know what else i love? trees, the rights allotted to me by the first amendment, and cock" "Me too" suebert replied " but don't call me that, call me Dark Warlock Wizard level 10." The D&D reference turned mark on so much that he couldn't help but whip christians out. All was going when stevie started yelling franticly. "GUYs GUYS" he said, " listen, someone is crying." "Fuckin A." i said, " someone is crying, and it's coming from the closet." Justin opened the door to reveal jeremy half naked with a used comdom on his hair. "Whats wrong" stevie asked, and then i shot him in the face and he finally shut up. He was hella gay anyway we all agreed. This exited jeremy. He stopped crying and got up.
i have to wrap this up, i haven't covered everyone like i thought i would and this is getting gross and long. anyway...so we're all pounding away for like hours and we start to hear some strange sounds coming from another room in the house. We all venture out of the room in search of this strange, but highly erotic sound. When we find the source, we see that it is another orgy. Since we were all naked and still a little horney we joined in. Greg was having his way with greg, shane with some hot girl with a penis, frankie was naked in a kiddy pool full of hot dogs bleeding out his nose yelling giberish, ian was taking pictures for his website, ty-ty was crafting a gine from recycled paper miche while snorting lines of coke off generic brians ass, and Generic brian was listening to radiohead and talking to eben about Coachella, but he wasn't listening because Eben was far to preoccupied being creative.......with a robot penis.
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[15 Jan 2004|10:54pm] |
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bell ring .....................................................ybutton
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[24 Dec 2003|03:37pm] |
Mary is seizure dancing on the boob tube in a Brazilian flag mini and clod hoppers. She is the screaming infant zebra that thrashes violently as she is torn apart by a pack of methodical hyenas. The former glory of her youth, embodied in her skinny legs and underdeveloped coordination, now hinders her escape. She cries because she is soft and with each tooth that is sunk into her back she knows she is closer to ugly black pasture at the end of her short meaningless existence. The helplessness of the prey and its ceaseless crimson flow incites madness in the hyenas. A bout of laughter briefly interrupts the ripping sounds created as skin around the animals stomach is pulled away. I am consumed with delight unable to control my shaking and screaming, nor the spiting of blood and flesh at my team. I hardly notice that the animal has gone lifeless after having broke it's own neck in the struggle. We might have paid homage to the bitch had she not been so pathetic, but instead we...well...we just ate her.
Later that night, as a lay privately tonguing my genitalia, I lost myself thinking of how truly lucky I was to be able to regularly dine out with my closest friends, sharing in the experience of a magnificent slaughter such as todays. I concluded that life was not about money, power, respect, fancy cars and diamond rings, or even my new R&B solo album. Life was about the smaller moments. Those spent with the companions I love.
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| 10 things you should know about me: |
[07 Dec 2003|09:30pm] |
1. i am a woman
2. i have a small mole on my chest that totally just moved
3. my skin is all over the place
4. i can't read
5. my name spelt backwards is "eternaldamnation"
6. i have a benign heart murmur named greg sarpy
7. i hit this guy Ben in the face with a rock
8. i picked up Ben's little brother once by his head, he cried, and his mom yelled at me
9. i sprained my hand karate chopping Ben’s head
10. i love everyone pretty much
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